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Dear Birth Parents,
We're Austin & Harun and we are eager to get to know you, and you…us. It will be great to hear your opinions, about open adoption and anything else you want to share. Let's text and talk openly and honestly to see what can happen. We hope you find the family you feel best about. We hope the birth mother that selects us will stay in touch so her child can meet her.
We welcome your role as birth mother, if you choose us as potential parents for your baby.
Why Adoption
We were both brought up in the happy chaos of large, supportive, loving, busy families. The idea of having our own family was always exciting. We took steps to make it happen. Australia wasn't a place where gay parents could adopt, so in 2008 we moved to New York to start on a scary, yet thrilling experience towards an open adoption.
Our son, Alfie, was born in Virginia on the 6th of August in 2011, after a 36 hour labor with a wonderfully smart, funny and courageous birth mom. She invited us into the delivery room so we could all welcome Alfie into the world. We are forever in awe of her. We have an open relationship with Alfie's birthmother, keeping in touch with her via email and phone calls. The experience of becoming a family has exceeded our wildest imagination. Life is hectic now, between work and keeping up with a curious two year old, and negotiating whose turn it is to change a diaper. We love every minute of it.
We started to talk about adopting again now that Alfie is two years old. We reckon we have more love, energy and time to share. We're more energized than ever to provide a loving and nurturing home to Alfie and our younger adoptive son or daughter. We'll give our children unconditional love and support in every venture at every stage of their lives. We'll help them to feel secure about every aspect of their lives and to always feel loving respect for their birth parents' decision. We will do our very best to support their ability to give and receive love, have a good sense of ethics, and a positive and humorous outlook on life.
They will be there for each other the same way we rely on our own siblings now. Growing up, we have loving memories of our siblings and want that for our children. This is the right time to connect with an amazing young woman who may decide to create an adoption plan with us.
Alfie
He has a very laidback temperament and a cheeky personality. He loves food. His favorite two words are 'no' and 'more'. We are shamelessly proud parents with any of Alfie's new tricks, as we will be with our younger child. Harun and Alfie have their own language that consists of jokes, tickles, cuddles, and teasing. I get a huge kick out of watching them together…it's like watching a comedy routine. Alfie gets such joy from Harun. We wonder what our younger child will find joyful.
Alfie will be an affectionate and loving brother. He hugs the other children in his playgroup and is slowly learning the concept of sharing. He will make a very proud and protective big brother.
We already tell Alfie about his birthmother when we are playing with him or putting him to bed. He has expressions that bear an uncanny resemblance to his birth mom, especially when he is concentrating. When we see that we just laugh and call him by his birthmom's name. Even though he is still too young to understand it, we tell him the story of how he came to us and how his birthmom is a very, very special person.
About US
We've just celebrated our ten year anniversary together, which has absolutely flown past. I, Harun, am originally from Bangladesh and Austin is originally from Ireland. We met each other while we were doing volunteer work in Sydney, Australia. We tell everyone that it was destiny. Destiny was given a helping hand by some well meaning mutual friends and quite a few bottles of beer. Since we became dads we rarely imbibe.
It's Austin about Harun…He's the most optimistic, most energetic person I have ever met. The longer we're together the more I admire his sense of humor, honesty, and ability to defuse any tense situation. We were friends at first and as time passed we realized we couldn't really stay away from each other. We became a couple in 2003.
My time with Harun has been the best time of my life. He is very loving towards everyone and has countless friends all over the world with whom he maintains close contact. He connects with toddlers to seniors. Nothing knocks back his quirky sense of humor and ability to give unconditional love. He is morally courageous, supportive and is more than prepared to challenge me in his own feisty way if he disagrees with me. I know he is 100% committed to adoption and will offer unconditional dedication to our children.
It's Harun about Austin …He's very loving, caring, passionate, funny, trustworthy, and honest. He is the more rational and serious one in our relationship. He keeps me balanced and grounded. I feel blessed to have him as my spouse and my best friend.
Austin is very intelligent, smart and ambitious. He works hard at achieving what he wants and likes to make work enjoyable. I've met Austin's colleagues who respect him and also consider him a friend and mentor.
He is loyal to his friends. His family is crazy about him. He stays engaged with whatever is happening around the world. He enjoys reading, long walks, quiet times, meditation, yoga, looking after his plants, traveling and of course good food. He is also into healthy living and fitness.
He knows how to have fun and makes the best Shepherd's Pie - yum! Another one of his passions are Karaoke with friends - he has very good voice and knows almost any song lyrics. He loves to relax and enjoys quiet times.
Austin possesses good qualities such as patience, supportive, teacher , mentor, compassionate and fun! These are some qualities a good father has. He is a great father to Alfie. I'm thrilled to grow our family with Austin.
Austin's Relatives
I am the youngest of five children, having one sister and three brothers. We are pretty close to each other and especially close to our parents. My mother gave up her career to raise her family. Our parents instilled us with a strong sense of self worth, and encouraged us to do our very best to achieve our dreams.
My eight nephews are in Ireland and Spain. I was a teenager when my first nephew was born, so I a dependable babysitter and watched them all grow up. Even though I live away from my family, we get together as often as we can when we have any excuse for a celebration….birthdays, Christmas, anything will do.
My siblings have very different personalities, so it is not surprising that they also have different careers and interests. My sister is a social worker, and my brothers are involved in teaching, landscaping and health services. We enjoy hanging out together whenever we are visiting Ireland or they are in the US. We go for meals, or to the theatre, but mostly hang out and catch up on gossip and chat.
Austin's Profession
I am a lawyer by profession… but not a suck up one….sorry, I am. I work for an Investment bank as a Regional Head of Human Resources. Our team is very diverse and it includes Europeans, Asians and Americans of all different cultures and traditions. Part of my job is to promote diversity and make sure that there is no discrimination or harassment within our workforce.
Recently I was sent on a temporary assignment to Hong Kong. My job has good pay and benefits, and this enables us to have comfortable homes in New York City and Long Island. On a stressful day in the office, I dream about planting vegetables at our little weekend place on Long Island and being home with our children.
Harun's Relatives
I was born in Bangladesh, growing up in a large family with my parents and three brothers, one of who is also my twin. I was always surrounded by family members living in a large home with grandfather and two uncles with their families. There were great family values, including the belief that I will one day have a family of my own.
My father is my role model to this day. He was born with cerebral palsy and still went to University and got his masters in Political Science. Growing up, my fondest memories were with my dad when he spent the weekends with us reading his favorite poem, playing his favorite music on tape player and spending time with us. My mother, a homemaker, always made sure our needs are taken care of.
My parents always encouraged education and self-esteem to be important for our lives. They also exposed us to traveling at an early age. I went to India, Thailand and traveled several parts of Bangladesh by the age of 15.
All my siblings live in Bangladesh with their spouses and kids. I see them at least once a year and they have all met Alfie. We usually now get together in overseas destinations for holidays and enjoy the company with the kids. Our last get together was in Thailand where all my brothers and their family came to visit. My mother loves cooking for all her sons and their family and usually enjoying her cooked meal is a focal point of our get together. When we get together we also reminisce about our childhood.
Harun's Profession and Volunteer work
I came to USA at an age of 19 to go to University, having the passion of learning. From then my life has been an adventure. I lived in North Carolina for over 8 years and then moved to Sydney Australia in 2001, then to New York and Hong Kong.
I work for a global Pharmaceutical Consulting company in New Jersey and I'm lucky to be able to work remotely most of the time, and spend a lot of time with the family. I register products in all global markets with the government authorities. I get to work with people of all backgrounds and nationalities in USA and also located around the world.
I am also the leader for the GLBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender) social network. My job in this role is to create a GLBT inclusive workplace. I raise awareness on issues that GLBT community face and also make sure our company takes part in GLBT focused community activities. For instance, I walked at the AIDS Walk in 2009 and raised $1500 for AIDS Walk Foundation.
Both of our families with Alfie and the potential of a sibling
Both of our families are crazy about Alfie. He is the youngest grandchild in both of our families so he has a celebrity status not just among the adults but also among the children. Whenever Austin brings him to Dublin, Ireland, Austin ends up arguing with his parents because they wont leave Alfie out of their arms for more than five minutes. Harun's family is just as enthusiastic. Harun's nieces and nephews are so good to him, they become his posse whenever we go and visit them, and Aflie spends his time running around after them and copying everything they do. Both of our families know that we want to adopt again and they are very excited about it, especially at the prospect of Alfie having a sibling as we both come from large families.
Our homes and towns
We own two homes…one in NYC and one upstate New York. Our children will get to experience city and country life.
Our NYC home is just a short walk to Central Park, with its open spaces and playgrounds. Our apartment is in an old pre-war building and it's very quiet even for the center of New York. We have two large bedrooms, two bathrooms and plenty of storage space. We also have working fireplaces which makes it really cozy in the winter. Our neighborhood is very multi-ethnic, and this is important to us as a mixed race couple. We'll move to a three bedroom apartment when our younger child is a toddler.
We both make the most of this vibrant city by taking in the shows, restaurants and spending as much time as possible with friends and family. Alfie loves the playground in Central Park, and so we are there at the crack of dawn most Saturdays and Sundays. He also enjoys the Merry-Go-Round, and of course the Zoo.
We bought an old farmhouse on Long Island. Austin loves it for its large garden and has very ambitious plans to plant fruit and nut trees and grow vegetable gardens. Harun loves the nearby seafood and Mexican restaurants Alfie loves chasing after the neighbor's free range chickens.
Our Travels
We have traveled over much of the world. As a student, I, Austin, spent studying, working and traveling in Germany, Canada, and the US and in Britain. Harun left Bangladesh at the age of 19 and spent 9 years studying and working here in the US in Charlotte, North Carolina.
These days, our son travels with everywhere with us, and so far he has enjoyed trips to Bali, Thailand, Ireland, Germany, Jamaica as well as the US. We imagine doing the same with our younger child.
Our Friends
We have lived in three different countries over the past ten years, so we are lucky to have friends and family in around the world. New York is still home to us and we are lucky to have Harun's gorgeous cousins, Sylvana and Tanya, living ten minutes away from us. They are incredibly supportive of us, and have been there with minding Alfie and other related chores and demands of day-to-day living. They also make a mean margarita! Austin's family visits New York very often, for work and pleasure and we all spend as much time as we can together. Our Thanksgiving dinner for the past 4 yrs has been with Austin's mom and sister along with Harun's two cousins and other close friends.
We also have a lot of great friends in Sydney, many of whom now have children of their own. Any time we visit now we get all the children together for a play date at Sydney's beautiful beaches or parks. Some of our Sydney friends even made the trip over to Cape Cod for our wedding in 2011.
Our promise to you
We promise to create an open relationship with you and, if you place your baby with us, unconditional love and support to him or her. As a mixed race family ourselves, we will love to parent a child of any race or of mixed race heritage.
We have a very strong bond with Alfie's birth mother, although we respect that she needs less contact now than after Alfie's birth….and may or may not want more in the future.
Let's create our own relationship in ways that you are comfortable. We are committed to keeping our child's birth parents updated throughout the years.
We wish you the very best with your pregnancy. Please text us at: 347-815-4292 or call us Toll free at 888-515-4098 or email us at
harunaustinadopting@gmail.com.
If you prefer, please contact our adoption attorney, Debbie Steincolor at 201-577-2124 or
Deborah@theadoptattorney.com.
Sincerely,
Austin & Harun
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